southern living

⦿ 325 ⦿ 2018 in words

Oh my goodness, I have never failed at my ridiculous year-beginning-goals so badly in my 34 years thus far. 2018 – as far as those goals were concerned – was a huge fail. But was 2018 a fail, otherwise? Absolutely not. 2018 was a wonderful year, and it’s nearly impossible to believe I’m saying that considering how I felt last January.

Let’s start with the bad news yup, I’m still smoking. No, I did not finish writing any of my WIP novels. 2017 definitely beat 2018 in the travel category (I mean, Paris is hard to beat). I did absolutely nothing politically. And my savings account is sitting roughly in the same exact spot it was in January. So, yeah, I didn’t even touch a single one of my goals for this year.  Though, even with all that said…

2018 was easily one of the best years of my life, goal-oriented or not.

Professionally, this was a hallmark 12 months for me. I left corporate retail in February to return to the down and dirty world of the biker service industry, coming back to Suck Bang Blow with new energy, fierce plans, and a stellar new team under me. This new team has blown me away: they are fun, dedicated, talented, and so very easy to work with. We had a banner year in sales and have grown as a store in ways I never foresaw. I’m excited to start the new year with them, with new designs, new artists, new products, and even bigger sales goals.

Personally, I did not see this year coming. I did not see these gains, these triumphs, this kind of future for myself. I did not know that I would eat the best meal of my life this year (for my birthday, in Athens, GA, with my incredible mother). I didn’t know I’d visit Hogwarts in 2018. I didn’t know that my mother and I would grow even closer as friends and confidants as I grew into the human she always hoped I’d be (yeah, in my 30’s, so I’m a little late on that, but whatevs). Most certainly, I had no idea that Cupid would punch me in the face and I’d fall in love with my best friend. I didn’t think I’d write 130,000+ (brand new) words this year (and I’d win Nanowrimo to boot!).

I feel like 2018 has been a crazy, whirlwind ride of cliche, laughing until my abs hurt, smiling from my head to my toes, and getting better every single day. Growth has been a big theme this year – in my career, my relationships, my own communications style, and my coping mechanisms. I’m still another year (bipolar) medication and drug-free and I somehow made it to another December 31st walking (despite my back and hips doing everything in their power to stop me).

I’m looking to 2019 with an immense sense of hope, without a list of goals, and with a smile. I honestly believe this is the first time in a long time I was genuinely unafraid of what a new year might bring. The first time in a long time I’m ending a year on a high note that I know won’t end anytime soon.

So here we go, 2019, you’ve got a lot to live up to and big shoes to fill, but I have confidence in you.

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